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September 2015

Brave

There are many kind of courage…

Thus begins Dumbledore’s speech to give Neville ten house points for standing up to his friends (if you haven’t read The Harry Potter series, I highly recommend it regardless of your age, it’s fantastic).

You are facing a mountain dear Mama. Courage will look different each day. Some day it might be telling your story. Some day it might be trying to conceive again. Some day it might be talking to your partner about the next step. I’ve had days where courage has been just to get out of bed, or shower or go to work. 

All I can say is, you get to decide what your brave is. Take your time, lean on those you love, find someone you can trust, celebrate the little things – the first time you wash your hair, put on make up, make a meal. Know that you are brave, just by going through this. 

  
Quotes:

Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by JK Rowling

Aslan, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis

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Dear Mama…

Dear Mama,

I am so sorry to welcome you to this sisterhood. It is a club you never want to join. Days or weeks or maybe even months ago you were sitting in your home looking at an at home pregnancy test, or sitting in a doctor’s office hearing the good news and you were happy, and now you find yourself here. Maybe you are hoping for answers, I’m sure you are looking for comfort and I am here to say, no one should go through this, I’ve been where you are, in fact I am where you are for the third time in two years. 

I can’t tell you what you are feeling but I can tell you to let yourself feel it. Sadness, anger, pain, frustration, hope, hopelessness, all of it. It takes time. Lots of people are going to tell you lots of things (if you decide to share your grief). Know that they are trying to help, know that you can take it or leave it, know that you get to guide your journey through this. 

My dear you are a mama. For however long that little life grew in your womb it made you a mama. Over the next weeks or months or maybe even years you are going to go through lots of thoughts and feelings and I hope you have people you can talk to about it. If you don’t (or even if you do) I am here. These pages will be filled with my story, with my days and my feelings, my ups and downs and maybe (eventually) your stories too. 

This is a place of support, of love, of sisterhood. One in four pregnancies end in a loss (miscarriage or stillbirth), here we can support all those “ones”. I am one in four, and I am here for you. 

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